Your biggest career decision is who you marry

I have no idea how to start this post. I’ve been reading different things to get inspiration but it’s not just working. So instead of using two index fingers to irritate my laptop, I decided to write on a plane white sheet of paper using a blue pen with a red cover. Remember the pen called biro? The one you chewed the top of the cover during exams when a topic you overlooked reading appeared as a compulsory question. Lol! Yes! That’s it! Although my handwriting on the plane sheet is flipping to the side, I’m not bothered; at least I got my spark back.

Before picking up the pen, I arranged my clothes, cleaned my room in a bid to be organized but in truth I was not in talking terms with dearest husband, Mr. Voltron-defender of the universe. That’s the new name my heart calls him in silence. So my escape plan from Mr. Voltron was to pick a pen, get into my world and write “dear diary”.

So much has happened since the last time I posted an article in November 2016.

The disappearing act wasn’t intentional but, rather necessary. I needed that break as much as celebrities crave likes on instagram, and “aboki” crave hot tea in a hot day.

Lately, I’ve been in a bit of crisis. Not quarter life crisis, I’m way above that age space, neither is it midlife crisis, no way! I’m still too young for that. It was more of a personality and purpose crisis. I was torn between who I am and all I saw I could be, relative to the sociology that shaped me against who and what dearest husband Mr. Voltron sees I’m capable of becoming relative to who and what God created me to be. Sounds complicated huh! I think so too.

How did I get here? I’ve always been that child who wanted more than the environment I grew up in could provide. It was that unsettling feeling for something more that pushed me into the cold arms of Lagos seven years ago, in search of bigger pursuits and challenges. Since then, I’ve been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of making money, paying bills and being a top performer at work which I am proud of but, lately I’ve felt so dissatisfied, and needed to fill a void.

Every day I wake up to a man who meditates at 3 am. He is well studied and full of big, selfless dreams (Reason why I call him Mr. Voltron). Unlike him, I’ve been struggling with waking up early in the morning to pray and meditate and get clear focus for my life goals. So I asked him how he is able to wake up every day at 3 am. He answered “if you connect with a purpose that is greater than you, sleep becomes overrated”.

This got me thinking so I sat down one day and asked myself; Now that you are married what next, what has changed, what will change? These questions came from the innate need to share my unique message, to make a difference in the world, to be the reason why a supposedly dead dream is revived and pursued. The desire to be my authentic, true self in a diverse and increasingly changing world.

Interestingly, over the last few weeks, I’ve received request and comments from people to teach them one thing or the other. I’ve received comments like;

“Paypay you are able to simplify complex issues into easily digestible snippets without using a hammer”.

Mr. Voltron says I’m able to make sense of angles people find it hard to see.

Some people recently asked how I’m I able to change jobs without breaking a sweat.

A senior citizen just recently asked me to advice on what business he should venture into.

These request and comments switched on the light bulb in my head; I finally accepted that truly I’m not serving the world by being too busy shying away from my gifts.

Within the period of this crisis, I’ve been doing a lot of growing in areas needful for the next phase of my life. I’ve been measuring my job and daily activities, whether or not they align with my values and purpose.

I’ve been deeply soaked in books, articles and programs about women leadership, personal transformation, global relevance and spirituality. I’ve been listening to my innermost voice, clarifying my message, while giving it the required time to grow through me.

I feel like a seed underneath the soil which hasn’t sprouted yet but I’m rising through the soil.

There are a lot of notes that need to be written, perspectives I want to share, complex issues I want to break down, influential people I want to connect with and books I want to write. It will all come together, one post after the other.

While I get close to wrapping this up, I’d like to say, if you are like me and you have a long list of things you want to achieve and you are nowhere close to what you set out to do. Don’t be mad at yourself, it is not the years that seemed lost that matters but the experience garnered through the seemingly “wasted” years.

My gut tells me, you are a deep thinker, a big dreamer; your head is bursting with ideas. The problem is, you think if you were born in America or to a rich parentage, you would have been bigger or better than you are, you would have achieved your goals in a more viable and supportive environment.

But have you thought about how inspiring the intricacies of your rock bottom birth, your growing up, and your search for purpose can be, if shared? Have you thought about the compelling messages in your “success story”?

I’m not talking about success stories like when that rich handsome guy whispered sweet nothing to your ears, or when your crush asked his friend to fix a date with you, or when your boss considered you for a promotion. I’m talking about those fears, mistakes and weaknesses you struggled with. Your inspiring story is drawn from your pain, the twist and turns, the ups and downs, the day you almost drifted into depression/desperation, when he broke up with you. The day you could not meet up with a target at work and you felt so devastated. The day you lost that life changing business opportunity or even when you realized you were pregnant before wedlock.

Don’t be frightened by your past experiences rather; be energized by what you have learnt through it all. This means henceforth, you have to take note of the details of your journey. What you allow yourself to learn in every experience is what will shape the rest of your life.

So while on my own twisted personal journey trying to figure it out, I’m committing to regular blog posts targeted at 30+ ambitious ladies who are passionate about personal transformation, re-writing their own stories and making global difference.

In closing, I’m thanking Mr. Voltron, my creamy sugar banana, whose words, questions and faith opened the doors of reflection and gave me direction to journey further. I used to say that marriage will be the least of my achievements, but now that I know better, marriage has been an opener to self assessment and reflections on my life goals and purpose.

Truly, your best career decision is who you marry. Choose well!

So much said, I had to let it all out.

See you soon!