Marriage On My Terms

Just yesterday my parents kissed my cheeks, smelt my breath, and watched me grow into a full-blown woman. Today the table has turned. So many targets to meet, and by principle of multiplication it’s expected that I get married and have children too. Since the day I met myself I knew I was different, not more special than anyone but different to the point that life doesn’t happen to me like it does to others because I do not see it the way most people do.

I have a very strange perspective to life. I can’t say I am a career woman but a purposeful one. Strangely, I left the comfort of a family in the north to Lagos, a strange land to pursue my desires and goals. I was that formidable.

Really, it’s hard to be a woman, more so, a purposeful career woman. You are faced with juggling between being a star performer, paying bills, taking care of family, taking care of yourself, being with friends. And the world mercilessly, just keeps reminding you that you are not complete until you are dignified by another man’s second name. *Sad Face*

I thought growing older will make me lower my standards, but I’ve never been stronger and firmer than now. And after all these years, I still cannot compromise on my standards of the desired life partner. It’s not about having unrealistic expectations as most people think, but I have to be in a place of rest, knowing that I have someone I can conquer anything with.

On this Issue of marriage, I’ve heard so much and answered a lot of unbelievably suffocating questions. I am not 40 yet but because I have a twin sister who has 2 kids then I must be overdue and should be under some nerve wrecking pressure regardless. Do you think so?

I can’t but laugh when people talk about this with me. One of my friends said, “Paypay you can still pass for a sweet sixteen chick”. Another said, “you know guys like younger girls”.  And someone very close to me who thinks I’m full of shakara said “stay there make small body dey deceive u”.
Well, God doesn’t have a biological clock. And that is the only clock I answer to.

I won’t close this without assuring you that when the dreams unfold, you will be the first to hear. Did you just think it’s the marriage dream? No way, it’s the Global Leading Ladies List. Still, make I hear say I no marry. God forbid O!  Whispering “I know I’m close to it because for the first time, he has been appearing in my dreams. You know the saying that ‘as soon as I talked with him, I knew he was the one’. Yea! I had that feeling. But, for the moment my reality is pleasantly fun and I’m enjoying it.

I hope this helps someone out there under any kind of “Societal Pressure”. Do not settle, I repeat, do not settle for just anything available. Forever is too long to endure.

Sure, it takes a lot of courage to put things in God’s hands, to give our lives, our hopes, and our plans completely; to follow where He leads us and make His will our own; Life is a beautiful song that God is teaching us to play.

And when you know God, his terms become your terms.

Yay! Finally, I’ve got this off my chest.

With so Much Love.